Thinking...Of a Day

"One day, the Sun will get to feel its own warmth of its golden rays of light, and the moon shall wonder of the stars both day and night. Till not one shall pass through another, nor lay unseen as if undercover. I've wondered of these things, inside and out, a rumbling in my tummy, a voice that wants out. Have you seen the sky in its undeciding blues? Like stories from the bible, except clouds blew over..two by two. I have someone of whom I can express my heart, its difficult,trying, but it used to be just a start. I now can rollover, in my memories of past, trying to find which one I can remember last. I tell this person sides only they see, because in the end what they see, in me, is a truthful reality. I am not over this, but I am for today, today has come and I am much to late. I will lay to rest, and dream of things he knows is best...for Me."

Inside Wants Out

I'm thinking if I should post something tonight, I'm just...thinking about it. Cuz if I do it might take me sometime, alot of stuff in my mind to sift through, filter out the unwanteds. Have you ever felt annoyed sometimes (of course you have...like right now as you read this) cuz seriously sometimes I feel so annoyed and I get kind of angry, not at the person thats annoying me but at myself, just for feeling that way, then I'll just go home and pick up my guitar and take out all my frustration on it (playing) while getting frustrated because I can't figure out anything on it in the first place. But I'm happy to be a non-social person, of course I'm not completely non-social but.. just a wee bit. I feel that God is gonna use me behind the scenes, people won't even have a clue what Jesus and I are up to, and when they hear about it they'll be like "Oh my, not Jordan, he's so quiet and ewww." Yeah thats what they'll say.. as I laugh. I always sound like I'm complaining about something, I don't want anyone to think that i'm just a complainer, I mean...so I don't have my life together, but I'm young, and horribley dependent and that saddens me, but I know I can change it, I'm in the midst actually. I mean...its not like I'm trying to impress anybody, cuz I just don't have anyone in my life to do so. Although...it would be nice, to show off sometimes, you know, maybe make a person think, when you didn't say anything, you only walked into the room knowing that there is someone special waiting for you, hoping you'd "end up" sitting beside them without anyone noticing, having it just be natural. I would like that. But being where I am doesn't allow me to enter into any such opportunity, I need to grab something that will just give me a reason to get up when I need to, to do what I need to, to get what i need, to do what I want....

But I believe I have already found that, infact I sooo did. I shall not mention the name of this person it would be sooo obvious and everyone would be like " Oh no, you idiot" But the name is irrelevant anyway. I'm just glad that person is there. Then there is Jesus, a good man I heard. He's done so much for me, I think I owe him, like pretty much my whole inside. John Mayer's first cd is entitled Inside Wants Out, I thought this would be a good title for many parts to come of my off-minded rambling; I will get into his music later and tell you all what I think about what he's saying and how I relate to his words. I would like to apologize for my lack of periods throughout this blog. I hope yall don't think I'm complaining, cuz I'm trying not to, but if you do think I am then "Oh Well" its gonna happen whether you like it or not. But just read and comment and I'm all cool with that. Now I have to go read these books that this poet/writer gave me, she's local but she'll be big someday...I would know.

I thank U.

SunLite.

Hey,


Today was a good day, after my boring day at work I met a friend for coffee to talk about some issues she was dealing with. Rather then sit in a congested building, we decided it would be better to sit outside, and so we moved our meeting to the shade of a nice tree on City Hall grounds. We talked for a long time about how God is convicting her to move on with her life, and forget about what she's held first in her life. Tears fell, and smiles made a welcome appearance when they did show. Sitting there talking with her, with the sunlight surrounding us and the gentle breeze mediating our temperature, I found this to be a beautiful day, a day where I can think back and thank Jesus for friends and sunlight. I had the opportunity to talk to a good friend of mine about Jesus, and how he's supposed to be number one in our lives, how he longs for our hearts, how we should long for his. To think that she wanted to talk to me, Me ! Nothing is better then sharing wisdom and knowledge and scripture, I have such a spring in my heart, I'm pumped about something. I love opening the hole in my head and letting all of my spiritual goop mess up everything, it makes me more thirsty to know more, to discover more. The girl I was talking to was dealing with a verbally abusive person in her life, someone that would bring her down to the point where she started to believe the things she was being told, my heart breaks to hear that even some of my closest friends are treating their loved ones like crap. I will not stand for it. But everything is clearer now, in her eyes too.

Taking the LRT home can be a swell time, seriously, just enjoy it. On my way home today a family came on board and this wee little girl sat infront of me, and her big eyes staring out the window just made me smile as I recognize her curiosity, her innocence. We went through a tunnel and those eyes just got bigger and bigger and her smile wider, I was smiling and yet I for some reason had it on my heart to just cry, cry because what she carries, her innocence and genuine interest of discovery might all be lost if she is lead down the wrong path, I prayed that God would just protect and bless those three kids, and that the next generation to come would have a seed in there hearts, seeds to sow through our prayers. Her eyes were sooo big, I just hope that God only lets sight to good things.

Twas a Great Day for Jordan. I Thank You.

Why I Hate my Job

*Warning* This post will reveal a slight bitter side to Jordan, but this is just a warning*

Good Evening yall this post is all about how much and why I hate my job. Let me start off by saying very early this morning I woke up at 3:30am Alberta time and thought that my alarm clock had gone off, but it didn't and so I fell asleep once again. At 4:30am Alberta time I woke up again but this time it was much different. I was in a dream state and in this dream I was actually going to be late for work, so I was anxious within the dream, but when 4:30 hit my mental clock my body convulsed and I literally jumped out of my bed, I was laying horizontal and my body took flight. I landed on something hard, and I hurted myself. Bad start to a boring day. But now on I go with why I hate my job. I am a janitor at a hospital, I don't feel at all special, I'm treated like garbage cuz I am just the guy that cleans up the crap. My supervisors underestimate me, and working in a place filled with Robotic bitter people is making me feel...weird. As you can tell their bitterness might be rubbing off on me.

The truth is, I am lazy, I can admit this with openess and shamefull eyes. I pray God does such a work in me, where I can come to work and accept it for what it is and where I am. If anybody has some guidance then that would be most appreciated.

This wasn't a post, it was me complaining, and it felt good. I thank you.

Intro

Good Night everyone. Seriously its night time and I have to get up at 5am so why I'm doing my first blog now is plainly stupid. My brain isn't working properly and after eating to bowls of strawberries I feel..funny to say the least. Yes my name is Jordan and this is my first blog, well my first real blog. As of right now I would like to thank a girl that I know for encouraging me to start blogging, it feels good to be pushed to write the stuff that comes out of my head. Anyways the girl I'm thanking goes by the name of Kristy-Anne; yes she gets mad props. Moving on I will say that by "blogging" it takes alot of guts to do so, you end up exposing yourself verbally,emotionally, and mentally and I'd say for 90% of people these days thats hard to do. Judgement is rampid as I'm sure it always has been, but for some reason I think its just more intense in this generation. Its unfortunate. But I'm taking a step and letting people know what I think, my opinion only matters to those who care to read my opinion, whether you choose to believe it or not is entirely up to the given person. This is my introduction, it isn't much but just you wait and see, I'll write so much random garbage that I might make you cry. Anyways I'm out sorry for being so short but its late and I'm sleep drunk. If you find any spelling mistakes, refer back to "sleep drunk". I Thank You.